Bobbie had been to Caroline’s apartment, only to find
out she’d turned
in her keys and left--for good--the landlord said, earlier
that
afternoon. She had looked all over town but could not
find hide nor hare
of her daughter. Not that she had any idea what
she would say when she
*did* find her. Bobbie suspected Caroline –Carly,
she reminded
herself—didn’t either.
Bobbie thought about the stranger who called herself Carly
that had
shown up in town one day. She had some physical
therapy experience and
Monica had spoken highly of her and felt that she’d made
a good PT
nurse. Bobbie was ashamed to say she hadn’t thought
twice about it
really. Why would she? The young fresh faces
that came in to GH to
enroll in the nursing program were a dime a dozen.
Most of them didn’t
make it past the first round of tests and interviews.
Bobbie had no
idea why she would think anything differently of Carly
Roberts.
Bobbie was so lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice
the bike had
stopped suddenly and was turning around. She was
startled when she saw
it’s lone headlight shining right on her. She lifted
a hand up to
shield her eyes but still was unable to see.
As Jason steered the bike toward Bobbie, he ignored Carly’s
insistent
protests. She was swatting at him with as little
leverage as she could
get considering their cramped condition.
“What are you doing?!” she hissed in his ear.
Jason ignored her, and Carly began to panic. Did
Bobbie know? Oh hell,
of course she knew. Luke couldn’t keep his big
mouth shut. What was
she going to say? What was Bobbie going to think?
Why the hell did
Jason think she was leaving town? Only to have
a rendezvous with her
mother on the way out? She decided she was furious
with him.
Absolutely, unforgivingly furious. There was no
way he was going to get
out of this unscathed. Carly shook her head.
That really wasn’t her
biggest concern. Her biggest concern right now
was getting *herself*
out of this unscathed. She groaned out loud to
let Jason know just how
much this was hurting her.
Jason finally stopped the motorcycle, leaving the engine
idling. He and
Carly stared at Bobbie as though she was an alien from
another planet.
Bobbie kept her hand up to her face and Jason realized
he was probably
blinding her with the headlight. He killed the
engine completely. Now
there was silence.
It was deafening.
Carly resolved she was not getting off the bike.
No way, no how. It
was Jason’s idea to stop the bike, Jason’s idea to talk
to this woman
who was her biological mother, he could do as he pleased.
She was just
along for the ride. She couldn’t help but stare
at Bobbie anyway. Her
mother. She looked forlorn. Devastated.
Like she’d been crying for
hours. And walking for days. What was she
doing out here anyway?
Carly shifted uncomfortably on the seat. This three-way
staring contest
was getting tiring.
Bobbie took in every feature of her beautiful daughter.
Her blond hair
was pulled back into a high pony tail, loose strands
swirling around her
forehead and ears, presumably products of the wind.
Carly’s eyes were
big, dark and haunted, just like her own. A delicate
nose and pouty
lips made Bobbie realize how much her daughter did indeed
look like her,
although somehow not similar enough that someone would
casually notice.
It was astounding, really. Bobbie could remember
exactly what Caroline
looked like when she was born, down to the very last
detail. But the
woman she was now, Bobbie never would have guessed.
Although they
looked so similar, they seemed so different at the same
time.
Carly began to wonder if anyone was ever going to say
anything. She
kicked Jason subtly, trying to get him to say something.
He was the one
who got them into this ridiculous situation after all.
Carly should
have known Jason couldn’t take a hint if it was handed
to him on a
silver platter. He didn’t do a thing at her kick
except move his leg
out of the way. Carly was beginning to realize
she was going to have to
take this into her own hands. Her mother was standing
there staring at
her like a deer caught in the headlights. Jason
was sitting there
waiting for someone else to talk. Carly heaved
herself off the bike,
letting a sharp breath outward.
Bobbie nearly jumped back at her movement. She was
definitely
flustered, and Carly realized that maybe Bobbie was as
nervous as she
was. This gave her a bit more confidence as she
tried desperately to
think of the right thing to say. 'Hi mom, how've
you been' didn't seem
to quite cut it.
"What are you doing out here?" Carly finally stammered,
unable to find
any words more meaningful than these. She hadn't
even decided if she
was going to admit to anything, yet. She knew it
was probably the wrong
thing to do, to continue lying to the people that were
her *family*, but
it was safe.
Bobbie shifted on her feet. She had no idea what
to say. She knew the
right thing to do was to confront this girl, her daughter.
But somehow,
not admitting she knew, seemed safe.
Neither woman had any idea that they were mirroring the
other's
thoughts.
Bobbie decided she'd better say *something*. Anything.
She cleared her
throat, her mind racing. 'Caroline, I'm so glad
you're here' was her
first thought. Then, 'why didn't you tell me right
when you got to
town?' But Bobbie said none of these things.
"I was just, um, walking..." Bobbie said lamely.
Her voice trailed off.
The sentence should have ended with 'looking for you.'
but somehow the
words couldn't find their way to her lips.
They didn't need to. In a sudden burst of courage,
or stupidity, Carly
didn't know exactly which, she blurted out, "Luke Spencer
told you
didn't he? He told you I'm your kid."
Bobbie stepped back, visibly bowled over from the words
that sailed
across the moist, humid air. She opened her mouth,
as if to speak, but
nothing came out. Her mind reeled with even more
things to say than
just seconds before. The sentences she'd planned
to say for twenty-two
years, if she'd ever been confronted by her daughter,
were now all a
jumbled mess in her mind. Not one word paired with
another made sense.
Not one sentence could be formed, not a phrase, not even
a fragment. It
was hopeless. Bobbie felt as confused and lost
as she had when BJ died.
There were no words to fit this occasion. There
were no expressions
that would do it justice.
No one spoke for a long time. Jason shifted on his
motorcycle, the soft
scraping of the dirt beneath his feet sounding as loud
as a tractor
trailer rushing by. With each passing second, a
hundred new emotions
were coursing though Carly. The strongest one,
the one that ached to be
let out, was anger. It always won. It was
the emotion Carly was most
familiar with, the one that she expressed the best.
Somehow, she had to
find the willpower to supress it. For now at least.
As angry as she
was at Bobbie for abandoning her at birth, this did not
seem the time
nor place to unleash it. Carly's face twisted into
a sardonic grin.
This was the woman who was her biological mother, who'd
given her away
when she was born, and here Carly was telling herself
not to let her
know she was angry? It was almost too much for
her to handle. She had
no idea what the "right" thing to do was. So she
said nothing more.
"Is my brother right?" Bobbie's voice was tiny,
almost meek, and Carly
was surprised to hear it. "Are you my daughter,
Carly?"
Bobbie looked down, unable to meet her eyes. She
had to hear it from
Carly herself. She had to know. Bobbie's
rational mind had finally
surfaced again. Once it was out in the open, once
they both knew who
they were, they could move on from there.
Carly's eyes widened at the question. It was so
simple, yet the hardest
question she'd ever have to answer. She swallowed
hard, and felt the
lump that had formed. It was hard to breathe.
The air felt so heavy,
it was sufforcating her. She looked at Jason.
His expression
unreadable. He was staring at the ground, as though
he didn't want to
be there but couldn't leave without making his presence
known. She
suddenly wasn't mad at him anymore. She knew she
should be, but anger
at someone took a lot of energy and right now the anger
at her mother
was using up all of her reserve.
Carly snapped her head back to look at her mother.
There was a question
on the table and it was her job to answer it. Carly
had to make a quick
decision. Lie, and leave town, never to be seen
or heard from again?
Or tell the truth, own up to who she was, get all the
questions she ever
had for the woman who borne her answered, and finally
feel whole? The
second option was the most logical one, and probably
the smartest route.
Why was it that lying was always in her first instinct?
She never
thought of herself as someone who runs away when the
going gets tough.
But that's precisely who she was. She may not physically
run, but she
did run emotionally. She ran from the truth.
Well no more. If there
was one thing she admired about Jason, it was his inability
to lie. It
was no only that, but his desire not to. She put
her hand on his arm,
almost willing the strength within him to flow throuhg
his skin into
her.
As though it did, Carly finally answered.
"Yes."
The word was so small. To small for the weight and
consequences it
carried with it. Too small for the way it would
change Bobbie and
Carly's lives forever.
Next
Part
Innocence
Lost Menu
Main
Menu