Almost.

“What the hell are we gonna do, Jase?”

Jason smiled.  At least she was talking in “we’s” now instead of “I’s”.
It was encouraging.  He sat down next to her, turning his body to face
hers, which was now balled up as small as she could get it, leaning
against the armrest of the couch.

“We’re gonna trust each other --”  Jason stopped himself short when he
saw Carly’s expression fall in disbelief.  “Carly …”

Carly sighed, pasting a contrite grin on her face, and nodded her head.
“Trust each other, got it.”

Jason narrowed his eyes.  He leaned forward and studied Carly’s face
with an intense gaze.  “You know the one thing I ask of you, right?”

Carly sighed again.  “Never lie to you,” she recited in a monotone
voice.

Jason looked down at his hands for a brief moment, then back up at
Carly.  “I ask you to trust me.  Do you trust me?”

Carly closed her eyes and leaned her head against the back of the couch.
This was getting monotonus.  She trusted him and she told  him as much
every time he asked.  The frustration built and bubbled to the surface
before she could stop it.

“How many times do I have to tell you?  YES, I trust you.  What the hell
do you want me to do?  Get an “I trust Jason” tattoo on my butt?  Wear a
sandwich board that says “I trust Jason Morgan” and ring a god damn
bell?!”

Jason sat back, stunned at her explosion.  He took a few deep breaths
before responding.  “Hey, take it easy.  I’m asking because I trust you
not to leave me right now.  I trust you to tell me when you’re getting
scared, and let me help you instead of running away like you always do.
Okay? Cause there’s a kid involved now, and it’s not fair to me if you
take that away.  And I want to make sure you’re trusting me to do the
same thing.  To stick by you and help you out with this.”

Carly looked at Jason, unnerved.  “Don’t trust me like that,” she
muttered, her voice small and helpless.

Jason sat tall, his voice projecting a confidence that surprised even
himself.  “No.  I *do* trust you.  Don’t do anythign to break that
trust.”

Carly rolled her eyes and pushed herself off the couch, heading into the
kitchen where she leaned against the small island in the middle.  “You
ever heard the saying 'don’t make a promise you can’t keep'?”

Jason looked over the back of the couch at her and shook his head.  “No,
but it sounds like a good saying.”

Carly nodded vigorously, avoiding his gaze. “It is.  And that’s what I’m
saying now.  I’m not promising you anything cause I’m afraid I won’t be
able to keep it.  So don’t trust me to stick aroudn cause I can’t
guarantee that I will.”

Jason got up and moved toward the kitchen, taking a seat on one of the
barstools directly opposite the counter Carly was leaning against.
“Where would you go?”

Carly glanced around the kitchen, suddenly uncomfortable with the turn
the conversation had taken.  She was definitely more comfortable arguing
than admitting her numerous faults in a casual conversation.

“I don’t know,” she mumbled.  “Here, there, anywhere.”  She smiled
slightly at Jason then cast a shy gaze to the floor.  The truth was, she
didn’t want to leave him, ever.  And right now, in this very moment, she
felt okay.  Like she didn’t need to run out the door.  But she knew
herself all too well, and she knew the moment panic set in, she’d make a
bolt for it.  And no one could tell Jason he hadn’t been warned.

Jason smiled  as well, and felt a tugging in his heart.  If she loved
him, why did she always want to leave? Why did she insist she was poison
and he was better off without her?  Casue there was nothing he could
think of that was farther from the truth.  There was nothing that would
devastate him more than if she ran off and never returned.  The more
frustrating part was that he told her this, over and over.  He could
shout it from the rooftops and she still wouldn’t believe him.

Carly was what Sonny called damaged goods.   She had baggage, almost too
much emotional baggage to handle.  But Jason was going to try until he
couldn’t try anymore.  He was bound and determined to get Carly to some
stable place in her life, where she could not only trust him, but trust
herself as well.

Jason got up off the barstool and seemingly floated over to where Carly
was standing.  It was as though he wasn’t really in control of his own
movements.  His strong arms circled around Carly of their own accord,
and Jason brought his lips down to hers in an unceremonious kiss.  It
was desperate and passionate, the same kind of kiss they used to engage
in when they first met.  As though time was of the essence, and any
moment some shred of conscience might pop into either one of their heads
and cause them to stop before they’d really begun.

Carly gasped slightly, taken by surprise at Jason’s sudden move.  She
didn’t resist however, and let him deepen the kiss as his hands roamed
over her back, finding the hemline of her shirt and pulling it urgently
upward.  Carly groaned, falling into him as she usually did, pressing
her body tightly against his chest.  Her arms found their way upward and
encased Jason’s neck, allowing him to pull her shirt farther up her
ribcage until it bunched at her chest.

Jason pushed Carly slightly back, removing the shirt completely from
her.  Carly's eyes closed, her breathing shallow and ragged.  Jason
smiled and traced her parted lips with his finger, then slipped down her
chin and carressed her neck with a soft touch.  He felt goosebumps rise
on Carly’s skin beneath his hand, and she noticeably shivered as his
fingertips dipped down to her heaving bosom.

Carly could barely resist the urge to rip all of Jason’s clothes off and
let him take her rigth there on the kitchen floor.  Instead, she ran her
hands across his chest and down to his waist, undoing the buttons on his
shirt from the bottom to the top with agonozing patience.   Jason heaved
a sigh, still travelling his fingers over Carly’s chest and around to
her back, where he unhooked her bra with expertise.

Carly smiled, and pulled Jason’s shirt from his jeans, pushing it off
his broad shoulders and revealing an exquisitely muscled chest.  She
sucked in a breath, still taken aback by his amazing physique, no matter
how many times she saw it.

Jason closed his mouth over hers again, this time lifting Carly up so
she was sitting on the counter top, his lips never leaving hers for a
second.  He stood in between her legs and let his body fall against
hers, pushing her almost completely back onto the cold tile.  Carly
barely felt it, so caught up in the moment that it could have been hot
coals or a block of ice she was laid upon and it wouldn’t have made a
difference.

She gasped though, when Jason’s hand traveled underneath himself to her
stomach, and began carressing it gently.  Like a crash of thunder,
reality suddenly rained upon her.  Tears welled up in her eyes and she
purposely pulled her mouth from his, turning her head so that he
couldn’t kiss her anymore.

“No, no, no, no… Carly, don’t…”  Jason  murmured, his lips so close to
her face they brushed against her cheek as he spoke.

Carly shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut as she fought the
onslaught of tears threatening to spill from her lids.  “I’m scared
Jason …I don’t think you understand how terrified I am …”

Jason cradled her face with one hand, using his other to pull her back
into a sitting position.   He turned her face to him, keeping his hand
there so she could not turn away. He spoke with conviction and
determination, his ice blue eyes boring into Carly so intenseley, she
felt she would burst.

“I know.  I know you’re so scared you can’t think straight.  Don’t let
your fear control you.  Don’t let it stop you from getting what you
want.”   Jason paused, swallowing hard and bracing himself against the
counter, leaning slightly into Carly.  “Do you want me, right now?”

Carly stared at Jason, then nodded, unable to give any answer than the
truth.  “I want you right now, I want you tomorrow, I want you forever.”
Her voice was soft, but determined, and she locked her gaze with his.
She lifted her arms again, and closed them around him, pulling him even
closer to her.

Jason sighed, finally relieved, and lowered his lips to hers once again.

*~*~*

Carly awoke with a start at the insistent pounding on her door.  She had
a vague sense of déjà vu as she looked over at Jason, sleeping
peacefully despite the raw scratches on his back where Carly had clawed
at him in her extasy.  She smiled slighty as she grazed her fingertips
over the wounds, then frowned as she heard the knocking again.

“I thought you were a light sleeper,” she muttered, untangling herself
from the sheets and walking naked into the living room.

At the next knock, she groaned, then looked down at herself, only now
realizing she was bearing all with nothing left to the imagination.  She
quickly grabbed for Jason’s shirt, which was curiously discarded in the
sink, and slipped it over her shoulders, buttoning it haphazardly around
herself.

Carly opened the door to find Luke, grinning wildly at her.  She
immediately went to shut the door again, but Luke’s strong arm stopped
her.

“Is that any way to treat your favorite Uncle Luke?”  he drawled,
allowing himself inside and taking a sweeping inventory of the room.  He
raised his eyebrows at the discarded clothes in the kitchen and the hole
in the plaster near her front door and chuckled.

“Rough night?”

Carly rolled her eyes and began to pick up the clothes lying on the
kitchen floor and counters.  She threw them into a jumbled heap in the
corner of the room, then stood with her hands on her hips, watching Luke
expectantly.  “What do you want?”

Luke stared back, then pointed to Carly’s chest.  “You’re buttoned
wrong.”

Carly groaned in exasperation, and pulled Jason’s shirt down farther on
her thighs, wishing it covered more than it did.

“I know you didn’t come here to give me fashion advice, so what do you
want?”  Carly snapped, deciding that the shirt was a lost cause, and
instead retreating behind the bar to conceal as much of herself as
possible.

Luke took one more glance around the room, his eyes travelling to the
open bedroom door.  He took the few steps across the small living room
to it, and, without looking inside, he pulled the door shut and put a
single finger to his lips.

“Wouldn’t want to wake loverboy in there now would we?”

Carly sighed and rolled her eyes again, leaning forward on the counter
with her elbows.  “What – do – you – want – Luke?”  She annunciated each
word, not bothering to mask her exasperation.

Luke chuckled again and poised himself against the back of the couch,
facing Carly, his hands shoved into his pockets.  He looked completely
disinterested in the entire situation at hand.  It blew Carly’s mind how
this man could go from cunning and beguiling one minute, to nonchalante
and disinterested the next.  But he did, and frankly, it was annoying.

“Well, Barbara Jean was worried about you,”  Luke began, finally getting
to the point of his visit.  “She had to pull a double at the hospital
and asked me to look in on you.”

Carly raked her fingers through her messy hair and smiled bemusedly.
“Gosh, I  hope I don’t forget to thank her!” she drawled, sarcasm
dripping from her voice.   She stood straight and crossed her arms over
her chest, speaking now with finality.    “You can see that I’m alive
and well, so goodbye.”

Luke put a hand over his heart, mocking hurt.  His jaw dropped open for
effect, but he snapped it shut again when he saw Carly was not buying it
for a second.  He switched tactics quickly and glanced around the room
again.

“Barbara said you didn’t pick up your phone all night.  No one picked up
at Jason’s hole-in-the-wall either.  But now that you have a
hole-in-the-wall too,  I can see why.”  Luke laughed at his own pun and
pointed to the hole and cracking plaster around it.  When Carly didn’t
flinch, Luke narrowed his eyes and watched her suspicously.  “What’s
going down Caroline?  Why do you have holes in your walls? Why’s your
mother so worried about you all of a sudden?”

Carly swallowed hard and forced herself to meet Luke’s relentless stare.
She wouldn’t let him see how much he got to her.  It sometimes seemed
that Luke could read minds.  Lord knew he found out about stuff he had
no business knowing on a daily basis.  He was like a hound, always
sniffing for a story.  Maybe the town gossip was Amy, but she had close
competition in Luke, that was for sure.

“Bobbie is trying to make up for lost time by suddenly becoming, like, a
*parent*  to me,”  Carly said, hoping this explanation would hold up as
good as any.  It sounded reasonable, although Carly knew the danger of
underestimating the investigative instincts of her dear Uncle Luke.

Luke saw through it alright, clear as crystal.  “Oh come on Caroline.
You set low personal standards for yourself then consistently fail to
achieve them.  So we both know you’re into something too deep to handle.
Spill it.”

Carly’s jaw dropped open at Luke’s blatent criticism.  She opened her
mouth, ready for battle, then thought better of it.  “What’s the matter,
Uncle Luke?” she teased instead, letting a sly grin settle on her face.
“You jealous that I didn’t come crying to you this time?”

Luke snorted and was about to retort when Jason emerged from Carly’s
bedroom, gripping the bedsheet tightly around his waist.  When he saw
Luke, he didn’t flinch, but strode past him to the pile of clothes Carly
had set on the floor.

Oblivious to both Calry and Luke’s stares, Jason ruffled through the
clothing items until he found the two pieces he was searching for:  his
boxer shorts and jeans.  Clutching them in his free hand, he stood
upright again, winking at Carly before he strode back past Luke again
and disappeared into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Luke wrinkled his nose at Carly then turned toward the closed bathroom
door.  “Mornin’ sunshine!” he yelled.

*~*~*

When Jason reemerged from the bathroom, Luke was gone.  He circled his
arms around Carly’s waist from behind, who was wrestling with the
toaster and a couple of Eggos.

“What’d Luke want?”  Jason murmured, dropping his face into Carly’s neck
and nuzzling her ear.

Carly smiled, despite the toasters refusal to execute it’s sole function
in  life:  to toast her waffle.  She leaned back into Jason and covered
his hands that were clasped around her waist with  her own hands.

“Mmmm … who ever knows or cares what Luke Spencer wants?  I only care
about or want this, right here, right now.”

Jason smiled,  but it was as though the words Carly had just said
brought back a grim reality, that their lives weren’t about just right
here, right now anymore.  And they never would be again.   He turned
Carly around in his arms, the waffles now forgotten.  Placing soft
kisses across her nose, lips and cheeks, Jason thought about how to
broach the looming subject again without a repeat of the night before.

“Carly, we have to come to some sort of agreement about—“

Carly cut him off with a soft probing kiss.  She squeezed her eyes shut,
running her tongue softly along his bottom lip, begging him to allow her
inside.  He didn’t, and she realized it was going to be more difficult
than she thought to persuade him to put this conversation off just a
little longer.

Just a little longer.

Carly wondered how long she could stretch that “little longer” out.  She
grazed her fingertips along Jason’s back and felt the scratches,
silently wondering if Luke had seen them too.  Jason flinched slightly
and she realized they probably hurt now.

“I’m sorry baby,” she murmured, still pressed up against him, her lips
full against his.  She smiled, moving her lips down to his neck and
laying soft moist kisses along the broad expanse that curved into his
shoulders.

Jason chuckled, trying desperately to ignore the shivers Carly was
sending through his body with each kiss.  “Don’t apologize.  It was
worth it.”  He sighed as Carly accepted this as an invitation to advance
and began working the button of his jeans.

“Carly,” he said gruffly, using every ounce of willpower within him to
step away from her.  “Don’t.”

Carly sighed and stood upright,  her hands placed on her hips. It was
obvious she’d lost this battle.   But she wanted to just try…  She
shimmied back up to Jason and placed a gorgeous pout on her face.  “Just
let me pretend like everything’s normal… just one more time, Jason …”
she murmured, gazing up at him with pleading eyes.

Jason closed his eyes briefly, then reopened them, watching the look of
hope slowly recede in Carly’s face.  He wanted to be able to forget
everything to, and that was easy when they were making love.  But that
wasn’t reality.  And Jason could only deal in realities.  He felt like
he was living in a story book if he didn’t.  And he didn’t like that.

“We can’t just have sex for the rest of our lives to avoid talking about
stuff,” Jason admonished, pushing Carly back to arms length, his hands
encasing her shoulders.

Carly grinned at this thought, despite her sudden grey mood.  “We
can’t?” she asked, feigning innocence.  “Why not?”

Jason laughed and turned toward the toaster, popping the waffles out and
inspecting them.  Still un-toasted.  His brow furrowed as his gaze
followed the black cord that snaked across the counter and disappeared
behind the bread box.  Jason pulled the cord lightly and it inched into
view.  It wasn’t plugged in.

He held the outlet up to Carly and raised his eyebrows.  She merely
shrugged.  Jason shook his head and tucked the cord into the outlet,
once again placing the waffles in the toaster and flipping the knob
down.  Finally… an orange glow.

“Are you going to pretend you’re more interested in that toaster than
me?” Carly muttered, flipping her hair off her hsoulders and placing her
hands back on her hips.

Jason turned to Carly and gave her a cold stare.  “No.”

Carly sighed and began to undo the buttons on Jason’s shirt she was
wearing.  Jason watched her, narrowing his eyes.  “Carly, I told you we
have to talk …”

Carly grinned and looked back up at him, plastering an innocent look on
her face. “I’m just fixing the buttons, Ja – son, “ she drawled, winking
at him as she did up the buttons again, this time fitting the right
button into the right hole.  The shirt hung much more loosely on her
this way, and it wasn’t quite as short as it was before.

Carly decided to ignore the waffles, since Jason had suddenly taken over
her effort in breakfast-making, and she strode over to the couch,
flopping herself onto it with exaggerated nuance.  “Okay, what do you
want to talk about?”

Jason sighed and put the waffles onto a plate, bringing them over to
her.  “Eat these.  And you know exactly what I want to talk about.”

Carly frowned, looking at the waffles in disgust..  She took the plate
at Jason’s insistence but set it on the coffee table as soon as he
stepped away.  She suddenly wasn’t hungry.  She suddenly wanted to throw
up.  She took a deep breath, hoping to calm the angry butterflies in her
stomach.  She bit down on her lower lip and took several gulps,
successfully swallowing the lump in her throat down.

“I told you before Jason, I can’t promise you things I’m not sure I can
keep.”

Jason sighed, lowering himself into the arm chair and dropping his head
to his hand.  “Then what was this morning?  What about ‘what you want,
when you want it’?”

Carly chuckled bitterly and massaged her temples with her fingertips.
“Okay, right now, I’m fine.  I can deal with this.  This morning made me
feel … safe.  Happy.  Secure…”  her gaze dropped to her lap and she
smiled wanly.  “Trust me, those are rare emotions for me.  And I really
only feel that way around you.”

Jason blinked and leaned forward.  “So why would you—“

“Why would I want to leave you?”  Carly interrupted, nodding in
undertstanding.  “Cause as much as you don’t like to admit it, I’m a
screw up.  I know we went over this last night, but it doesn’t change
things.  I can’t handle my own life, much less another person’s.”

Jason shook his head furiously.  “You don’t know that.”

Carly widened her eyes, staring at Jason intently.  “I don’t?”

Jason continued shaking his head, his voice tinged with annoyance.  “No,
you don’t know that.  And maybe between the two of us, we can make it
work.  You’re not stupid, Carly, and contrary to popular opinion,
neither am I.  We’ll get help from Bobbie.  We can raise this kid.”

Carly stared openly at Jason in disbelief. Her mouth was agape.  She
snapped it shut and twisted her lips into a sardonic grin.  “You’re
beginnning to sound like a broken record.  We should just stick to sex.”

Jason whipped his head up and stared at Carly, a mixture of hurt,
confusion, and anger masking his face.  He didn’t say anything for a
long time.  Carly refused to connect her eyes with his.  Jaosn knew she
closed off when things got too hard for her.  He was guilty of the same
thing.  But not with Carly.  Never about Carly.  Why was she so
important to him that he couldn’t see straight, and blindly wanted to
fix everything that was wrong, while she insisted on creating more
problems?  It was enough to drive him nuts.

Instead of responding to Carly’s wanton comment, Jason got up and
pointed at her still on the couch.  “I need my shirt.”

Carly looked up at him cautiously.  “Are you leaving?”

Jason nodded, a short, curt nod, and placed his hands on his hips,
waiting for his shirt.  He didn’t want to leave the conversation
unfinished, but it looked like Carly wasn’t going to give him a firm
promise that she wouldn’t leave so he wasn’t about to stay while she
re-built all the walls aroudn her that he’d managed to break down.

Carly lowered her eyes again and slinked off the couch, knowing she’d
gone too far with her comment but not sure she was ready to apologize
for it.  She disappeared into her room, and reappeared a moment later,
wrapped in her light blue robe adorned with clouds.  She handed Jason
his shirt and watched, not speaking, as he put it on.

Jason picked up the small black velvet box from the coffee table where
he’d sat it much earlier that morning and turned it over and over in his
hands.  “I want to marry you, Carly, I probably always will,” he
murmured absently, as if Carly wasn’t even in the room.  Carly felt
tears fill her eyes and she reached up quickly to brush them away.

The slight move caused Jason to look up, suddenly aware of her presence
and what he’d just said.  He didn’t flinch.  “Just um…” he began, his
eyes flitting around the room for an appropriate place to stash the
unwarranted diamond.  He settled on grabbing her hand and forcing it
out, palm side up, pressing the black box to her.  “Just think about it.
Okay?  Everything.”

Carly nodded dumbly as Jason leaned forward and kissed her gently on the
forehead.  He turned, almost reluctantly, and headed for the door.
Once there, however, he had a terrifying thought and knew he had to
address it.  Resting his hand on the doorknob, Jason turned back and
addressed Carly once more.

“And if you get the urge to run—make sure you run to me.”

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